A Jamming Bob Marley Tribute

Like many others, my first exposure to Bob Marley’s music was through Eric Clapton.

Clapton's 1974 cover of “I Shot the Sheriff” was a huge hit (his only U.S. #1) for the guitar god. And while some fans are always prone to criticize a cover that was more popular than the original, Clapton’s cover introduced Marley to an international audience.

“I love when music crosses all boundaries and borders,” Resination front man Vance Fahie told The Tribune in 2006. “Music is a shared thing. I think it did a lot for both of them, actually.”

Twenty seven years after Marley’s death, others now spread Marley’s politically charged, fight-for-the-underdog music. Bands like Taj Mahal, Pearl Jam, and Sublime have also covered him. Stevie Wonder once honored him with his song Master Blaster. And there’s nary a local reggae band out there that doesn’t pay tribute to Marley in some way.

Saturday, local band Resination (That's Fahie pictured below) will pay tribute to the man nicknamed Tuff Gong with a Marley cover show at Downtown Brew in San luis Obispo (8 p.m., $10).

While Marley wasn’t the first to play reggae, he’s the undisputed champ of the genre. By his death at the age of 36, he’d done more than most acts would do with an additional 30 years.

Consider some of the songs from his greatest hits collection, “Legend,” the best-selling reggae album of all time: “One Love,” “Jamming,” “Could You Be Loved,” “Is This Love,” “Stir It Up,” “Exodus,” “Redemption Song,” “I Shot the Sheriff.”

There are more, but you get the idea.

Marley died of cancer on February 6, 1981.

Of course, Marley’s legend has exploded since his death. And his music will forever be associated with marijuana and those Bob Marley flags you see everywhere. Yet his music provided a vibe that in itself is a statement for so many.

Marley’s imprint on reggae is so huge, a journalist can hardly avoid asking questions about him when interviewing other reggae acts.

"He's my father," Ziggy Marley told the Tribune last year. "I'm not trying to fight against him or who I am. What I'm doing is not about my ego; it's about the message. My father is also one of my teachers, somebody I look up to musically.”

"My style is different from his," Toots Hibbert told us last fall. Then he added: "But he is my favorite singer from Jamaica."

“It's hard, but who wants to get away from that shadow?” said Steel Pulse front man David Hinds last year. “I don't want to get away from that shadow. Mike Tyson was always in the shadow of the greats, like Joe Louis and Muhammad Ali and all those guys, and he's probably got an attitude about that. But when I look at the world of Bob Marley and what he stood for and the amount of people he reached with the music and how he came from the same background as I did and my parents did (his parents were Jamaican), and had a similar struggle to get his music exposed, it's an honor to be under the shadow of Bob Marley. I like to believe we're still catching up, so it gives me incentive to keep going.”

--Pat P.

The Iceman's hotel rumble

By now, many people know not to mess with Chuck Liddell – with good reason.

Have you seen some of the guys he’s beaten up?

Have you seen him?

But people didn’t always know about Liddell’s reputation. Before he was an ultimate fighting champ, rising through the ranks of the UFC, Liddell was in a hotel with UFC co-owner Dana White when White got in a conversation with a hotel security guard, who wanted to know what was up with the guy with the Mohawk. When White told the security guard Liddell was an ultimate fighter, the security guard suggested ultimate fighting was “crap,” according to Liddell's new autobiography.

White then offered the guy $5,000 if he could last five minutes with Liddell.

So at 3 a.m., with other hotel employees looking on, Liddell threw down with the security guard in a hotel lobby.

“I took him down, and he wanted a second try,” Liddell said during an interview with The Tribune.

The second time didn’t prove any more successful for the security guard.

“He was walking like C-3PO the next day because I put him in a neck crank,” Liddell said.

The story, recounted by Liddell during an interview at SLO Kickboxing, is one of several mentioned in his new book, “Iceman, My Fighting Life.”

Liddell, of San Luis Obispo, is the UFC’s former light heavyweight champ, who scored a dramatic comeback victory last month over Wanderlei Silva.

Here are some more tidbits from Liddell’s book and our interview:

* While he has often entered the octagon to songs by Eminem and DMX, he’s a fan of metal and country music. During our interview, his cell phone rang several times. The ringtone: “Family Tradition” by Hank Williams, Jr.

* Liddell once dated Playboy model Willa Ford. And while he was linked to actress Juliette Lewis, he said they never dated. He now has a steady girlfriend, who knows about his bachelor past, which included nights with multiple women.

“I’ve never hidden the way I was,” he said. “I was really honest with everything I’ve done.”

* While it takes longer to prepare and recover from fights, Liddell, 38, thinks he can fight at least another couple of years.

“I should still beat anybody in my weight class,” he said. “So I’ll keep doing it for a while. When I’m 40, I think I’ll try to move on and do some other things.”

* There’s no love lost between him and Tito Ortiz. Ortiz, now one of the stars on “Celebrity Apprentice,” used to spar with Liddell. Eventually, Liddell beat Ortiz, the former champ, twice.

“If you listen to him he took me off the street, taught me how to fight, and I turned on him,” Liddell said. “When in reality, he came to me to help him get ready for a fight.”

Would he fight Ortiz a third time? “It’s an easy fight for me if people want to pay to see it,” he said. “And plus I would enjoy it just because he’s got a big mouth.”

Wait to see what Ortiz says about Liddell in his upcoming book, “This is Gonna Hurt.”

* Sen. John McCain once called ultimate fighting “human cockfighting,” and led a campaign to ban the sport. Eventually, the UFC regulated itself, implemented rules and banning certain moves, like eye-gouging and groin kicks. As the sport became accepted, its popularity surged, just in time for Liddell to win the championship.

“It was good timing for me as far as when the sport caught on,” he said.

* According to the book, Liddell landed a 6-figure deal with Xyience, which sells supplements and energy drinks.

* When he was 10, Liddell had a bit role in the Jack Nicholson movie “The Postman Always Rings Twice.” Liddell is now considering future acting roles, which leads to the obvious question:

Will Liddell become the next action star?

“Ideally, that’d be nice,” he said. “But we’ll see.”

-- Pat P.



Photo: (copyright) UFC, provided by and licensed from Zuffa LLC

"Blue Valentine" seeking a young star

This Sunday, as football fans fill ice chests and chip bowls in anticipation of the Super Bowl, one local youngster could be on her way to super stardom.
Casting agents are looking for a Central Coast girl to star in the feature film “Blue Valentine.”
Shooting for “Blue Valentine,” an indie drama starring Oscar nominees Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams, is set to begin this spring in Morro Bay.
Before it does, however, casting agents Richard Hicks and David Rubin need to cast “Frankie,” the daughter of Gosling and Williams’ characters.
They’re looking for a girl between the ages of 4 and 7. No previous acting experience is required.
“We’re not looking for a very young actress of experience,” Rubin explained. “We’re looking for someone who has a special quality, who can behave comfortably and naturally in family situations.”
In fact, he added, the girl playing “Frankie” should be “real” rather than “cute” — an honest-to-goodness kid with her own personality and views.
Auditions will be held 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday at Sweeney Hall in St. Timothy’s Catholic Church, 962 Piney Way in Morro Bay.
According to the casting agent, no preparation is needed for this informal, first-stage audition. They’ll hold open call auditions for other roles as shooting approaches.

***

Morro Bay Mayor Janice Peters has this request for Sunday’s audition: “We want to avoid inconveniencing the church.”
She asks that those interested in auditioning avoid using the church parting lot (the congregation of St. Timothy’s will be holding at 10:30 a.m. Mass) and to refrain from calling the church.
St. Timothy’s has no information about filming, Peters said.

-- Sarah L.

Singer Chuck Brodsky brings sunshine and pixie dust to SLO County

I remember the phone interview I did with Chuck Brodsky about five years ago. Introducing myself, I told the Asheville, N.C., singer-songwriter how I learned of his music.

I was searching the used CD bins at Boo Boo Records looking for material for a mix tape of radio songs. The title “Radio” caught my eye. I gave it a quick listen — it also had tunes about Christmas and an obscure baseball player-turned-OSS spy — and took it home.

“So you took a chance,” Brodsky observed.

Castoro Cellars gig
The events room at North County’s Castoro Cellars was filled with about 100 people on Saturday night for a SLO Folks-hosted concert featuring Brodsky, who was making his first visit to the county. It’s a comfy and low-key spot for a show as exemplified by the gray tabby cat that likes to sleep on stage, and the coffee and cookies that the concert promoters serve at intermission.

Steve Key, master of ceremonies for the show, asked for a show of hands of those who had never heard of Brodsky before, and nearly half the room raised them. By the end of the 2-1/2 hour show, however, most would agree that they were glad that they also “took a chance” on his music.

Brodsky is a talented songwriter who can craft tunes as comfortable on first listening as a well-worn flannel shirt. His tunes combine a love of history and wry (“nudge nudge, wink wink”) observations about life with infectious melodies. In 15 years on the folk-music circuit, he’s honed his craft and gained a reputation for his wit, political irony as well as insightful baseball tunes about obscure aspects of the game assuring that they are not lost to the ages.

A political opener
He opened the show with the timely “He Came to Our Town,” a song off 2000’s “Last of the Old Time” album about a political candidate’s visit:

“He came to our town
For maybe an hour
The streets all got swept
And they planted some flowers
Babies he kissed
To the people he waved
And he stopped
At a Civil War General’s grave

“And after an hour
They whisked him away
Things went back to normal
Over two or three days
The homeless returned
To living outside
And the flowers that got planted
All wilted and died”

The song drew laughs and nods of approval from the crowd peppered liberally with knowing gray-hairs and aging boomers.

He followed up with the first of three baseball tunes. “Dock Ellis’ No-No” is a true story about the Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher’s no-hitter against the San Diego Padres on June 12, 1970. That was a noteworthy event made special by the fact that Ellis, today a drug rehab counselor, was high on LSD.

And the admitted “unabashed Philadelphia sports fan” continued the sports theme with “The Great Santa Snowball Debacle of 1968,” a song that revisits the infamous Dec. 15, 1968, football game where the Eagles hosted the Minnesota Vikings. The incident remains an embarrassment to the City of Brotherly Love because angry fans, upset at yet-another losing (2-12) season, booed and pelted a man dressed as Santa Claus with snowballs during the halftime show.

“He gave the crowd the finger
And stood there like a giant
‘You'll all get nothing for Christmas’
He yelled out in defiance.”

And just as quickly as he had people giggling and tapping their toes, the tone turned serious as he quieted the audience, including many who were consuming bottles of Castoro’s “Dam Fine Wine,” with a new tune that will be a part of an album he’s working on to commemorate the Holocaust. By the conclusion of that song the room was absolutely silent.

A winning combination
And that was his M.O. all night, setting up listeners with a smile — a tune about garbage (“Take It Out Back”), litigation (“Talk to My Lawyer”) or “carrot nibblers and hicks” (“The Come Heres & The Been Heres”), and then knocking them out with something poignant about the mundane, a tune guaranteed to turn on the waterworks: From a simple story about playing ping pong with his dad and the evolution of the father-son relationship (“The Point”) to another about a developmentally disabled black man (“Radio”) who became a hero in his South Carolina community after being adopted by a white high school football coach. (This song made the soundtrack of the 2003 Cuba Gooding Jr. film of the same name, in which Brodsky has a cameo.)

One-two. Wham-bam. Set 'em up and take 'em down — an emotional roller coaster that left the audience smiling and longing for one more round ... yeah, Chuck. Yeah!

All night long, Brodsky remained in charge, a wry smile on his face and a twinkle in his eyes while standing on stage, with nothing but a microphone and a bar stool topped with cups of water. He carried his six-string as well as a gossamer bag of deftly constructed songs and the stories behind them — music that warmed the audience on an otherwise wet, chilly and uninviting evening.

A 2 1/2 hour show
He played 21 songs from his seven albums. The set list included a half-dozen tracks from his latest, 2006’s “Tulips for Lunch, ” a pair of new songs, as well as one of his earliest songwriting efforts: 1981’s “We Are Each Other’s Angels.”


“I hope I see you later — ’cause it’s time for me to go,” he sang as he surveyed the crowd, looking some members in the eye to underscore the point as the show wound down.

“That’s my ride that just pulled over — and it sure was good to know you
“So go answer your calling — go and fill somebody’s cup
And if you see an angel falling — won’t you stop and help them up?
“We are each other’s angels — we meet when it is time
“We keep each other going — and we show each other signs”

Brodsky thanked everyone for turning out, adding “I do hope to come back,” to which the audience applauded in hearty agreement.

He returned for an encore of what may be his best-known tune, which was written during the 15 years he lived in the Bay Area. It came to Brodsky one day while idling in traffic upon the Bay Bridge, a burning frustration in search of a target. The result was “Blow ’em Away,” a 1985 road-rage classic popular with Doctor Demento, which has been covered by David Wilcox, among others.

It was a fitting end to this performer’s stellar arrival, because on his first visit to SLO County, Chuck Brodsky blew us all away.

• • •

Chuck Brodsky has plans for several new CDs.

He hopes to release an as-yet untitled double live album within the next couple of months. It will feature a few new tracks. He is also working on a disc of Holocaust-related material that was inspired by a visit to the Holocaust History Museum at Jerusalem’s Yad Vashem memorial, a facility that focuses on the personal tragedies of the Nazi genocide.

In addition, he is working on a follow-up to his critically acclaimed “Baseball Ballads” of 2002, which features 10 tracks of baseball music.

For more details visit Brodsky’s Web site at www.chuckbrodsky.com or www.myspace.com/chuckbrodsky.

— Jay Thompson

Photos by Jay Thompson.

The tao of 'tude and other oddities as Ryan Adams rocks Santa Barbara

Where did the week go? Just the other day I was in Santa Barbara on the tail end of a long weekend awaiting the start of the Ryan Adams concert. Now it’s Friday.

My wife, Johannah, was making good on my final present for Christmas 2007: concert tickets. We were excited. But as we padded into the Arlington Theatre for the Monday night show, storm clouds were brewing on this full-moon night.

The Arlington Theatre
The Arlington is a fantastic place for a concert or a movie. Apparently no expense was spared when Fox West Coast Theatres first erected the building in 1931. (The theater received a major renovation in 1976.) The exterior was designed to create the illusion of a soaring Spanish castle. Inside, false second-story building facades flank the audience. They reflect early Californian architecture and feel right at home on today’s State Street. The facades include lighted windows, balconies, stairways and even weathervanes. The blue ceiling made us feel as if we were outdoors on a starry night.

Despite this curious backdrop, there was a vibe in the air, we agreed, like something heavy was about to go down ... the hammer was cocked and about to drop. Maybe it was the rain, or Ryan Adams’ reputation for being off-kilter— I dunno — but something was out of sync.

Then, just 10 minutes before the show was set to start, while many in the audience were finding their seats or strolling to and from the snack bar, out trotted the bespectacled, diminutive and occasionally combustible alt-rocker.

He sat in a chair with an acoustic guitar and paged through a notebook of songs, explaining that he was bored — or maybe a little crazy — and he would be playing some tunes while people found their seats. He said his name was J.J. Bouillabaisse as he began a three-song acoustic set that was lost on more than a few. I guess some — like the guys behind us — apparently didn’t notice and figured the dude onstage was part of some last-minute sound check.

The loquacious dudes behind me debated the merits of two Central Coast movie theater concert venues: The Arlington, which seats 2,000 and sells Raisinets at its outdoor snack bar stand, and the Ventura Theatre, located down the coast, a hall with room for 1,200 with multiple bars and a ballroom, which occasionally hosts dinner shows. They talked through the first two songs despite repeated requests to quiet down.

Well, that’s just Santa Barbara, I thought. This jewel of a city for the arts features a low-key, easygoing atmosphere coupled, oddly, with a sense of smug entitlement that comes, I guess, from Santa Barbara’s culture of wealth and celebrity: The tao of ’tude.

A powerful opening
I overhead a volunteer say that the show wasn’t a sellout, but when Adams and his four-person backing band, The Cardinals, took the stage at 8:21 p.m., the floor of the Arlington looked packed. The band opened with a rocking rendition of “Bartering Lines” from 2000’s “Heartbreaker” followed by “Cold Roses” and “Blue Hotel.” Thirty rows back the sound blasted; the Arlington’s acoustics rocked.

At one point my wife, who knew very little of Adams music and, like me, had never before been to the Arlington, told me: “This is dynamite, Jay.”

Neal Casal’s guitar riffs were reminiscent of Jerry Garcia, while longtime Cardinals’ drummer Brad Pemberton provided a pulsing backbeat. The band was rounded out by Jon Graboff’s stellar pedal steel guitar work (and later a one-joke comedy act) and bass licks by Chris “Space Wolf” Feinstein, who was apparently celebrating his second birthday in three months (Adams also sang him “Happy Birthday” back in November at a sold-out show at the Hammerstein Ballroom in Manhattan).

The quintet laid down a pretty fat groove during the first set that included nearly a half-dozen tunes from “Easy Tiger,” Adam’s ninth and newest album. The band was tight all night in its jams, and Casal and Graboff also provided fine harmonies that complemented Adams’ reedy voice.

A vibe in the air
But as I said earlier, there was a vibe in the air. During “Halloween Head,” nearly an hour into the show, a fan dived onto the low-slung stage and rolled across it on his sides. Talk about odd. A security guy was too slow to catch him, and the dude completed his roll and then casually exited down the southern aisle with arms extended — a victory salute, I guessed.

Adams, who was seated and staring down while playing piano, apparently hadn’t noticed. But Casal, who was standing stage left, couldn’t miss the fan and quipped after the song was over: “That’s really rock ’n’ roll.”

“Was it cool?” a surprised Adams asked. “Did he have a medical condition?” Then turning to the audience, the 33-year-old singer-songwriter deadpanned: “Did you see this?”

The band was in a good space, and I could tell they enjoyed playing together. (Adams is quoted as saying he’d like to tour as The Cardinals.) There was plenty of unscripted onstage banter and not all of it was annoying, or, ahem, as com-bus-tible, as has occurred in some past shows from just a few years ago (i.e. the Bryan Adams-“Summer of ’69" incident in Nashville in 2002).

Adams talked about his cold, his thirst for Red Bull and Diet Coke, and then there was a curious digression about Ethel Merman, who died in 1984. Adams said his slightly coarse voice was making him sound like Merman, the so-called “Grande Dame of the Broadway stage.” That, in turn, riffed into a discussion of her babe-worthiness. “When she was younger ... she was hot,” he said. “But not Carole Lombard hot.”

In the balcony, the voice of a woman could be heard complaining about Adams’ references to women, adding that she was leaving. But the boys onstage apparently didn’t hear the harangue as they launched into Casal’s “Freeway to the Canyon” to close out the first set. The song includes these lyrics:

“Oh, so many things come so slow to me
I build them up just to watch them fall
Now 'bout that girl that came to me — were we ever that close at all
Ever that close at all
Ever that close at all
It feels just like a dream now”

Final set
The band took a 12-minute break and returned for another 40-minute set. Starting with “When the Stars Go Blue” from the “Gold” CD followed by “A Kiss Before I Go” from “Jacksonville City Nights.”

All night long, it seemed as if the now sober Adams was making fun of his at-times difficult stage persona — a problem that has occasionally overshadowed his vast talent. At one lull during the band’s final tunes he looked up at the ceiling of the Arlington, with its array of constellations in tiny white lights, and yelled for no particular reason.

“I was just screaming,” he joked to the band. “It was not a meltdown.”

The band ended the night with a raise-the-dead version of roadhouse rocker "Shakedown On 9th Street" from “Heartbreaker,” with Adams wailing:

“Head on down to 9th street gal
Lets go out kicking with the boys and the gals
Wear your dress and bring my ring
Someone’s gonna get it ain't gonna be me”

And then Adams and The Cardinals waved and walked off stage. We stood with the rest of the audience and clapped ... and clapped ... and clapped ... until the house lights came up at 10:18 p.m.

“What! No encore?” I said with a growing sense of South Coast entitlement on an otherwise odd night. Then I realized that in Santa Barbara sometimes the encore comes first.

• • •

Just another reminder that singer-songwriter Chuck Brodsky is making his first appearance in SLO County tonight and tomorrow. Brodsky will perform today at 7 p.m. at Coalesce Bookstore in downtown Morro Bay and Saturday at 7:30 p.m. at Castoro Cellars, located west of Paso Robles on Highway 46 West. Tickets are $15. For more details visit www.slofolks.org.

— Jay Thompson

Photos from Nederlander Presents

Teen Review: "National Treasure: Book of Secrets"

Revisionist historian Jon Turteltaub directs Nicolas Cage, Justin Bartha, and Diane Kruger in places where they can almost re-create American history and relive the past. But “National Treasure: Book of Secrets” lacks a well-told original story, offering little more than a replica of the first “National Treasure” movie.

The only element that makes the two movies distinct from each other are the new clues leading to the hidden treasure that drives the plot.

Ben Gates (Nicolas Cage) finds himself on a treasure hunt to prove the innocence of his great-grandfather, code breaker Thomas Gates (Joel Gretsch), who was deemed a conspirator on the night of Abraham Lincoln’s assassination. Gates and the same companions he had in the last movie — and I mean the same in every way — deceive the highest levels of government and security to succeed in their quest.

The plot of the film sparked my interest only because of the history retold throughout the movie. Viewers are advised that much of this “history” is pretty inaccurate, but it was still decently interesting. This is not, however, a movie to be taken seriously.

The weak character development lowered my overall opinion of the film. The movie’s antagonist failed to meet my standards, making the hero’s motives less feasible.

I wouldn’t recommend “National Treasure: Book of Secrets” for serious historians, but viewers who liked Nicolas Cage’s sense of adventure in the first “National Treasure” or who appreciated a somewhat twisted picture of reality would enjoy this movie.

— Anya Rossa-Quade

Anya Rossa-Quade, a junior at Arroyo Grande High School, loves to write and watch films with her friends.

"Who's going to want to hear a song about baseball?"

Singer-songwriter Chuck Brodsky is playing two gigs this week — the first at Coalesce Bookstore in Morro Bay on Friday, and another on Saturday night at Castoro Cellars on Highway 46 West. It’s his first visit to SLO County.

Brodsky’s tunes have been covered by Kathy Mattea, David Wilcox, Sara Hickman, Chuck Pyle and others. Brodsky released his critically acclaimed debut album, “A Fingerpainter's Murals,” in 1995.

“Chuck Brodsky is the grandson of Dylan and the son of John Prine,” writes Moshe Benarroch in a review for the Folk & Acoustic Music Exchange. “He is a storyteller, but if you are looking for a sensitive confessional singer-songwriter you better look elsewhere. Nowhere on his CDs will you find anything personal in his songs.

“You will find stories of all kinds of people though, stories of Jews on Christmas, stories of baseball and stories of basketball.”

‘Radio’ finds a fan
I became a fan when I stumbled across a a CD titled "Radio." (That song would be used in the 2003 movie of the same name starring Ed Harris and Cuba Gooding Jr.) The disc also had a Christmas tune and a baseball tune on the CD — two genres of music I collect.



During the summer of 2003, I was working on a story about baseball music.

A new compilation had been released just in time for the baseball playoffs. Brodsky had a track on “Diamond Cuts: Top of the Sixth.” I later learned he had an entire CD devoted to baseball, which prompted Tim Wiles, director of research at the Baseball Hall of Fame, to describe him as “baseball’s troubadour poet laureate.”

Like Norman Rockwell
“Chuck’s an amazing guy,” Wiles told me in a phone interview that summer.

"He's very talented. Whenever I talk about Chuck to people I say, 'Don’t forget to check out Chuck’s nonbaseball music because much of it is tremendous.' He’s a gifted melodist and lyricist and performer, singer.”

Wiles compared the Asheville, N.C., singer to American illustrator Norman Rockwell, who did several well-received baseball-themed works over the years.

"I think that is an apt comparison because I can’t think of another artist — besides those two — who ranges very broadly across subject matter in their medium but returns that often to the same theme," Wiles said.

A 'Giant' fan
Another fan is Tim Flannery, who was a player, coach and broadcaster for the San Diego Padres for nearly a quarter century.

Flannery is currently the third-base coach for the San Francisco Giants. He's also a singer-songwriter, who has released eight CDs and performed with Jimmy Buffett, Willie Nelson, Jackson Browne and Brodsky.

“Chuck is an icon on all the folk circuits, some of the great folk festivals around the country and even parts of the world,” Flannery said in a phone interview from his home in Encinitas. “He actually goes and sings baseball songs. He’s an historian of the game and studies it.”

Brodsky told me he never intended to become the guy known for baseball music. It just ended up that way.

Batter up
"The first song was 'Lefty.' I wrote that somewhere around 1990 or 1991," Brodsky told me in a 2003 interview. "I was a little shy about playing it for anybody. It's about sports. I thought that's probably trite to most people. Who's going to want to hear a song about baseball?"

He added: "I played it at the Kernville folk festival around a campfire for a friend of mine. I was just amazed that a serious songwriter — a very accomplished songwriter — was really taken by the song. I started to play it more often and got kind of the same reaction from everybody, so it just became part of my repertoire."

Then he got another idea for a song. And another. And another.

"People started to refer to me as a guy who writes baseball songs when I only had two," he said. "I thought this was kind of fun. What if I had three or four? And I think by the time I did have three or four it became clear that, hey, I could really do this (produce a CD of original baseball tunes), and this is something that hasn’t been done by anybody."

The quest became more fun. He contacted the Hall of Fame for help researching the stories that inspired his songs.

The result was 2002's "The Baseball Ballads," a self-produced 10-track disc. Tunes range from the true story of the player shot in the film “The Natural,” to a salute to Max Patkin, baseball’s clown prince (who had a cameo in the film “Bull Durham”).

There are also songs about Fred Merkle, whose bonehead move made “"to Merkle" a verb; Moe Berg, the Ivy League catcher with 15 pro years who was an OSS spy during World War II; and Dock Ellis' no-hitter against the Padres while high on LSD during the 1970 season.

The Ellis tune is Flannery's favorite.

"That's a true story," he said. "I know people who were there that day. (Chuck) got it right on. Dock Ellis thought it was an off day."

Baseball is a big part of Brodsky’s life and his music, but the bulk of the more than 70 songs on seven CDs are less about sports and more about odd and interesting characters. Some just happen to wear ball caps and have their names sewn on the backs of their shirts.

Odd characters
Baseball as a subject is a challenge for a songwriter, Brodsky said.

“For one thing, it’s very colorful as subject matter,” he said. “There’s been some great characters in the game. And I’m interested in characters and portraying them.

"Another reason," Brodsky said, "is that it’s about as pure a form of Americana as there is. I wasn’t even thinking in those terms when I first started to write these songs, but it is, I’ve come to realize.

He added, "It seemed like a way I might be able to reach my dad. Like any other father-son relationship we had a period of time when things got a little strained. My dad’s always been really into baseball. It seemed like a way to bridge the gap a little bit and it turned out to be the case.”

So over the years Brodsky's fans have come to expect a baseball tune or two during the 120 to 130 gigs he plays each year.

“What I’ve learned ... is a lot of people tend to look at these more as story songs first about interesting characters that happen to be from the world of baseball,” he said. “When I think about it in those terms I really do agree because I write a lot of story songs in that vain.

“My baseball songs really aren’t that different from the other true, story songs I’ve written. They take the same kind of research, the same process for writing the song. They’re very similar.”

— Jay Thompson

• • •

If you go ...
Singer-songwriter Chuck Brodsky will perform at 7 p.m. Friday, Jan. 25, at Coalesce Bookstore, 845 Main St. in Morro Bay, and at 7:30 p.m. Saturday, Jan. 26, at Castoro Cellars, 1315 N. Bethel Road west of Paso Robles.
Tickets for each show are $15.
For details visit www.slofolks.org.

Check out two songs by baseball troubadour Chuck Brodsky.

Here's "Lefty":



Here's "Radio," from the 2003 film of the same name:

When Mother Nature tells you to surf

Surfers in Morro Bay were treated to a nice surprise Monday morning: A full rainbow that arched over the surf and appeared to dip straight into the water.

Sports writer Brian Milne and I had been on the fence as to whether to get in the water when we decided that the rainbow had to be a sign. You know – as if Mother Nature really cares whether we surf. And as if Mother Nature sends messages via rainbow.

If I actually knew how to upload photos from my cell phone, you’d be able to see that lovely rainbow. But because of my technical incompetence, the best you can do is look at the photo above by Trib photographer Joe Johnston and pretend there’s a rainbow there. Heck, maybe even print it out and color a rainbow on it. Except I think that might violate our photo reprint policy.

Anyway, since I let you down with that rainbow shot, here's a cool web site about the mechanics of surfing.

Enjoy.

Next time I see a rainbow in the water – say, like, 20 years from now -- I’ll make sure I have a real camera on hand.

--Pat P.

Jeanne Carmen: A Cayucos connection to the Rat Pack, Marilyn and the Kennedys

This is the second of two parts remembering Jeanne Carmen, who starred in the 1959 film “Monster of Piedras Blancas,” which was filmed in Cayucos. Carmen died Dec. 20, 2007, of lymphoma at her Orange County home. She was 77.

Jeanne Carmen made a name for herself in the 1950s as a pinup model and B-movie actress, but her claim to fame in the final decade of her life was in the stories she told of life in the Hollywood of the late 1950s and early ’60s. Rat Pack Hollywood.

These were the waning days of the studio system and changing movie mores and public tastes. This was the era of Marilyn Monroe and, in the early 1960s, President John F. Kennedy and his brother Attorney General Bobby Kennedy.

Author Paul Parla knew Jeanne’s stories and of her old friends. He convinced her to begin selling autographed pictures at memorabilia shows, which led to Jeanne’s celebrity comeback in the 1990s. That in turn spawned the 1998’s “E! True Hollywood Story Jeanne Carmen: Queen of the B-Movies.”

“She’s an icon in her own way as exemplifying the beauty of the 1950s starlet,” Parla said in a TV interview. “She’s really basically the same 18-year-old girl who bagged Frank Sinatra for a good time.

“She’s got these great stories to tell, and whether you believe them or not, she’s part of the Hollywood mythology. She’s in there with the Kennedys and Marilyn (Monroe) ... just part of the mix.”

Name-dropping
Here’s what she told me about three of the biggest celebrities of that era:

• Frank Sinatra: “Frank was a sweet guy, but he was boring to me because I was a young girl still in my early 20s, and he was in his late 30s,” she said. “It’s OK when you’re 38 and they’re 48, but not when you’re 21 or 22. That’s not OK because you’re just living, and they’ve already lived. So I found him to be very boring. I’d go down to spend a weekend with him in Palm Springs, and I could never stay the whole weekend. I’d sneak out in the middle of the night and drive home, or I’d say I was going to the hairdresser and never come back. I was very independent. I was a young girl with a great body, an interesting face, and money. You got to be a little bit of a monster on that one, haven’t you? But I was a nice monster.”

• Elvis Presley: “I met Elvis when he was 21 (or Presley’s breakout year in 1956) at a party. We started dating until he went into the Army (in 1958). Elvis was sweet, but he was, at that point, inside of himself, very shy and quiet. I was sophisticated and grown up when I met him. He was still like a little boy. He was still in awe of everything. I had already been with Sinatra. How can you go from Sinatra to Elvis is what it came right down to.”

• Marilyn Monroe: “Marilyn was one of the sweetest people I think I’ve ever met. She would give you the shirt off her back. You wouldn’t dare say, ‘I like those earrings.’ She’d hand them to you. She really got her lumps in Hollywood. She was not all those things they called her. She was just a really nice girl, wanting very much to be a movie actress, not a movie star particularly. She wanted to be a great actress so bad.”

Success despite headstrong attitude
Jeanne continued to act in the late 1950s, landing roles on TV and in B-movies, including Allied Artists’ “Portland Expose,” Warner Bros.’ “Untamed Youth,” with rocker Eddie Cochran, and as a lead in Republic Pictures’ “The Three Outlaws,” a story about Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid with Alan Hale Jr. (who gained fame as the Skipper on “Gilligan’s Island”) before landing a role in “Piedras Blancas.”
Her last role was as Mrs. Lipschitz in 2005’s “The Naked Monster,” a film co-directed by Newsom and Wayne Berwick. As a kid, Berwick also had a role in “Monster of Piedras Blancas,” which was directed by his dad, Irvin Berwick.

“I succeeded in spite of myself,” Jeanne told me. “I just kept going up the ladder. I was always saying no to everything that came along, but I always had people, other actors, husbands, whatever, who pushed me into it.”

After Monroe’s death in 1962 — Jeanne believes the actress was a victim of foul play — she left Los Angeles, gave up the fast life and became a housewife and mom in Scottsdale, Ariz.

“I would have done really big things had I not left (Hollywood),” she said. “I was starting to really get offers, but I left town ... and didn’t come back for 18 years.”

After her three kids were raised, Jeanne ventured back into the industry, using memorabilia shows and her roles in B-movies and Three Stooges shorts to reconnect with old fans.

“I’ve had the most interesting life, probably, than anyone that you’ll ever meet, or know or hear about,” she said with a hearty laugh. “I can’t imagine anyone from where I came from doing what I did.”

• • •

Jeanne’s son, Brandon, has written a biography of his mom: “Jeanne Carmen: My Wild, Wild Life as a New York Pin-up Queen, Trick Shot Golfer and Hollywood Actress.”
For more about Jeanne Carmen visit her Web site.

— Jay Thompson

Queen B: Jeanne Carmen left a monster mark on the Central Coast

This is the first of two parts remembering Jeanne Carmen, who starred in the 1959 film “Monster of Piedras Blancas,” which was filmed in Cayucos.

Jeanne Carmen left her mark on the Central Coast but was hardly a household name here.

Jeanne was a maverick, a sort of hick-from-the-sticks with a fifth-grade education who reinvented herself using her beauty and street smarts to become a pin-up, a Hollywood actress, a trick-shot golfer and, in her 70s, a celebrity famous for the celebrities she knew.

She died several weeks ago of lymphoma at her Orange County home. She was 77.
Frank Sinatra, one of her former lovers, would have agreed that she did things her way.

Jeanne returns to the Central Coast
I met Jeanne in October 2002. At that time it had been almost 45 years since she had starred in "The Monster of Piedras Blancas," a B-movie and "Creature from the Black Lagoon" knockoff that made local headlines as the first motion picture filmed in Cayucos.
She returned to that beach town as guest of honor at a fundraiser the Friends of the Cayucos Library called “Hollywood Comes to Cayucos 1958.”

Jeanne was part of a panel discussion, a group that included Cayucos locals who watched or were extras during the week of filming in March 1958. There was also a representative of the Piedras Blancas Lighthouse, although scenes set in the lighthouse were actually filmed at Point Conception in Lompoc.

It was standing room only in the Veterans Memorial Building during the first of two screenings of the movie. I remember watching the fire marshal, who was standing near the building capacity sign, as he nervously kept count of the crowd that ultimately filled the room.

When the lights dimmed and the movie began there were actually more screams from laughter than of fright, although in one scene the monster carries a severed head — pretty heady stuff (pardon the pun) for the Ike-era drive-in movie set the movie was originally intended for. (I specifically remembered that scene from when I first watched the movie as a 10-year-old in Milwaukee in the mid-1960s.)

Watching the movie with 200-plus others was a kick. How could you not laugh with corny dialog like this:

“Murder, murder, murder. Mom, someone’s been murdered! Someone’s been murdered!”
“Who was it Jimmy?”
“Mr. Kolchek. He’s dead. He looks awful.”
“Where son, where, where?”
“I went to his store to buy some candy, and he was in his office dead. And mom, he didn’t have any head.”

Cayucans who crowded the Vets Hall were equally proud of seeing their small town on the big screen that Oct. 27, 2002, evening — a place that looked eerily similar to the 1958 community featured on screen.

During the movie, Jeanne sat with her son, Brandon James, in a side room off the main hall. As the end credits rolled she left through the back door and waited until master of ceremonies Bob Whiteford introduced her.

And when the 72-year-old strutted — and I mean strutted — in through the hall’s main entrance, she walked as if in a spotlight and left a stunned audience in her wake — likely, I thought, as she had as a young starlet half a century earlier.

“It’s funny, but she’s probably as well known now as she ever was and this is for somebody who dropped out of sight for 20 years,” Ted Newsom, a film historian and documentary filmmaker, told me in a phone interview before the event. “Basically the only thing that anyone has ever seen her in is (‘The Monster of Piedras Blancas’). It’s on that basis that she’s famous today.”

Humble roots
Jeanne told me about growing up poor in the 1930s in the cotton fields of Paragould, Ark., where she told anyone who would listen that, ‘I’m going to be a movie star.’ ” She didn’t like her stepdad and ran away from home with a girlfriend at age 13. Eventually she ended up in New York and became a model.

Portraying Lucy, the daughter of the Piedras Blancas Lighthouse keeper, was one of her biggest movie roles. In an interview, I asked how she got it and her answer unfolded like a mini-drama, showcasing her headstrong zest for life.

“I can remember that I gave up a walk-on in a major movie,” she told me. “In this movie I was supposed to in a bikini walk down the stairs at the Beverly Hills pool, walk over, say hi and kiss the star, and do a couple of other things.

“They sent me off to the studio to get fitted. When I got there everyone ignored me. Finally I got to somebody who said, ‘There are the bathing suits, go down and look at them.’

“The whole thing just pissed me off. I walked out. I had already been offered this part in ‘Monster of Piedras Blancas,’ so I said to hell with them (and said) ‘I'm doing the “Monster of Piedras Blancas.” ’ ”

The peroxide blonde needed to darken her hair for the role as a young woman who returned to the lighthouse after being sent off to boarding school.

“So they take me to the hairdresser and they show me a book of hair colors. They said we can do this, which was a mousy blonde, or we can do this, which is red. Red is not a good color in black and white — it’s a horrible color for black and white — but I got the red anyway. I looked at it and I decided, ‘Oh my god, I don’t like this.’ So I went to the hairdresser. I had this long hair. (I told him) ‘You have to put this back to blonde, I can’t stand (the red), I don’t want it.’ He said OK. When he was washing the bleach off the hair he said, ‘Carmen, look in the sink.’ I looked and there's all my hair laying in the sink.”

Her hair was simply overbleached and broke off. She stared at the hair and shrugged.
“That’s why I’ve got that horrible-looking hair in the movie. Have you ever seen worse hair in your life?”

And she was right. Her hair looked terrible.

Nude scene
Though she had an impressive portfolio of swimsuit photos, Jeanne drew the line at complete nudity. But that’s what the script called for — a nude swimming scene filmed on a Cayucos beach, where in March the chilly water was in the low 50s.

“I said, ‘What? There’s no nude scene in this thing.’ (They said) ‘Oh yeah, didn’t you read on page ... ?’ ‘No. I haven’t read anything about a nude scene.’ Probably all I did was learn my lines and didn’t read the rest of it. I said. ‘I don’t do nude scenes.’ They said, ‘You’ve got to.’ I said ‘No, I’m not doing a nude scene.’

“So ... they hired somebody else to do the nude scene. After I saw the movie, and I saw what (my stand-in) looked like, I said, ‘Holy s---, if I’d a known you were going to get somebody that looked like that I would have done the nude scene.’ ”

There was a real down-to-earth charm about this lady who in her later years enjoyed her return to the limelight.

Here's a link to Jeanne Carmen's official Web site.

— Jay Thompson

Working (briefly) for a living

You know, I think these striking writers are a little spoiled.

I mean, yeah, they don’t get the same pay as the stars. And, sure, a writer in Hollywood never has job security. But at least they generally work more than a day. And at least the boss doesn’t get on them about facial hair. (It’ll all make sense in a bit.)

After college, I would have done anything* for a chance to write for a TV show. Instead, I was a salesperson at The Shoe Carnival, leading to the inevitable question:

Should political science really be offered as a major?

It wasn’t any better for my friend, whom I’ll call “Brad” because that’s his name. By the time he was 26, Brad probably had more jobs – none of them good -- than anyone on the planet.

One day a couple of years ago, we tried to name all of those gigs, but we quickly found that task impossible. So we decided to stick with positions he had held for just a day.

"Weren't you a trash collector once?" I asked, keeping count with several raised fingers.

"Oh yeah," he said, reminiscing. "But that one lasted a week."

"What about the time you worked at Waffle House?"

"Which time?"

"Either."

"Of the three?"

"Any of them."

"I think the second one was a one-day."

"Yes! That's eight."

I suppose you might say he took the car-buying approach to the job market: You had to do a little test driving in order to see if it was for you. Hence, during those years Brad was a pizza delivery driver, a cook, a factory worker, a city bus driver, a naval recruit, a slaughter house worker, a college student (four times), a semi driver, a trash collector, and everything else that didn't involve a contract or benefits.

We eventually reached around a dozen one-day jobs before we gave up.

"So, did you ever get paid for any of those days?" I asked.

"Oh yeah," he said, though I knew the truth. It's fairly tough to return to a place for which you worked only a day and actually ask for money. But, on the other hand, you always hate to admit you worked for free.

I know this because I had a few of those brief stints myself.
The grocery store gig, for instance, ended when I asserted my constitutional right not to shave. (The boss, obviously, did not embrace civil liberties.)

The pizza delivery job ended because, well, I didn't want my car to smell like everybody else's pizza. It was hard enough being a 23-year old single guy when your no-thrills, economy car doesn't smell of pepperoni.

I know -- that makes me sound like a snob. Truth was, I just couldn't block out a nightmarish scenario of me -- a college graduate who was supposed to at least be in Congress by that time -- knocking on a door, hot pizza in hand, only to see, in stunned horror, one of my high school teachers staring right at me.

TEACHER: Why, hello, Pat. What are you up to these days?

ME: Aaaaaaarrrrrgghhh!!!

After a couple of trial runs, I cowardly waited for the right opportunity, then drove home when no one was looking. Later, when I returned home an out-of-work deadbeat, another friend of mine was disturbed by the news of my abrupt resignation.

"You didn't even give them a two-week notice?" he asked, repulsed.

"I never even worked there two weeks, man. Why would I give them a two-week notice?"

"I dunno," he said, sarcastically. "Courtesy, maybe?"

As a manager (a.k.a., "one of them "), who was obviously biased against the layman, I knew he wouldn't be reasonable.

Eventually, I figured the jump from Pizza Express to Capitol Hill was just too unrealistic. So I begged the journalism program at Indiana University to let me into their graduate program.

Brad had a few more test drives – as a nurse’s aide and an undertaker – but he also went back to school (again) and wound up becoming a safety inspector pulling in around 70 grand a year.

He was such a bizarre and funny guy, I always thought he’d make a great sitcom character. Of course, with the strike, there's no one to write the show, so maybe I'll just imagine it while not shaving.



* Except listen to Whitney Houston music

--Pat P.

SLO Tow-in (More big waves)

Inspired by the Maverick's contest going on in Half Moon Bay, I decided to get out to the beach myself on Saturday. Not surfing, of course (My performance in much smaller conditions Sunday would serve to remind me why I'll never be a big wave guy). But as an observor.

A friend had told me there were some guys towing in up north, so I grabbed my video camera and headed out. I won't say exactly where it is -- surfers get a little sensitive if you reveal the big wave spots around here. But there were a few others around, watching what I estimated to be 15-foot (and sometimes more) bombs.

Look here for a brief, shaky video of those waves.

While I was filming, one old-timer started talking to me about surfing big waves back in the 70s. Then he and another guy started talking about this perfect 15-foot swell that hit Morro Bay in the 80s. The waves in Morro Bay don't usually hold much shape when they get that big. But on this memorable day, they agreed, it held up perfectly.

Then the older guy, 62, looked at the waves and said, "I wish I could still surf today." Then he thought about the possibility of using jet skis to catch bigger waves. Back in his day, the notion of tow-in surfing had yet to be explored. "I think I would have done it," he said. Then he looked to me. "You think you'll ever tow in?"

If only he'd seen me Sunday. He wouldn't have even asked.

"Oh no," I said.

Anything over seven or eight feet just freaks me out. But, hey, I'm happy to watch others brave the big stuff. So don't bother saving a spot at Maverick's for me -- unless it's on the beach, shooting shaky video.

--Pat P.

Call for bands in Paso

Ok, so this won’t be my most interesting blog entry ever, but, hey – consider it my public service for the week.

Besides, I figure a few local bands out there might like me more if I let them know that the city of Paso Robles is now accepting applications for their summer concert series.

The series, of course, offers the promise of nice-sized crowds and a warm, outdoor venue.

Last year, bands in the series included the Monte Mills Band (that’s Monte in the photo above), Sugar Daddy Swing Kings, SLO Mambo and Rancho Deluxe.

Here’s the press release from the city of Paso:


The City of Paso Robles Department of Library and
Recreation Services and REC Foundation are currently accepting band
demos for the 2008 Concerts in the Park series through Friday, February 8. All bands should submit information including a demo CD or tape, band
biography, and a photo. Information packets can be dropped off or
mailed to Nancy Joynt, City of Paso Robles, Centennial Park, 600
Nickerson Drive, Paso Robles, 93446. Concerts will be held Fridays, 5:30 –
7:30 p.m., June 20 through August 29 at the downtown City Park gazebo.
For more information please call Nancy or Rose at 805/237-4741.


--Pat P.

Above photo by Jayson Mellom, The Tribune

A Tail of Two Kitties

I don’t really like to think about it, but one day our 4-year-old daughter is going to ask that dreaded question:


“What happened to Lucy?”

George Carlin is often credited with saying that pets are “little tragedies in the making” because at some point they’re going to die, leaving broken hearts – and empty food dishes - behind.

Having a cat and a dog that are getting up there in years, I’m constantly dreading the prospect of their demise because 1.) I like them and 2.) we’ll have to explain the deaths to our daughter, Sunny.

We haven’t really talked to Sunny much about death, preferring to conveniently put it off until we absolutely have to. But my wife’s friend, Christy, wasn’t as fortunate.

Her family’s house cat, Silas, escaped from the house and went missing a couple of weeks ago, causing much distress to 4-year-old son Glen. Seeking outside help, Christy posted fliers around the neighborhood, asking anyone for info on the lost feline. (That’s not Silas in the above photo. But I do hope Bjorn found his kitty.)

Eventually, a friend called to say they had seen a cat that looked like Silas on the side of a road somewhere. Shortly after that, Christy’s husband returned with a bag containing a dead cat, forcing the parents to talk to Glen about mortality.

To make it easier, they held a formal funeral for Silas. They buried the poor kitty and then placed a marker above his grave.

And that was that. Though it was confusing, Glen at least learned a little lesson about dying.

Of course, that was all wiped away a couple of days later when Silas the cat came home.

Christy was looking out the window when she saw a white feline – slightly thinner and dirty but unmistakably Silas – walking past a window.

I’m not sure what they told Glen. But I’m guessing he’s probably happy to have his cat back. And he probably thinks dying is this thing where you leave the house for a few days and then come back really hungry.

It’s a pretty funny story – one you might see on a sitcom, if there were such things as sitcom writers. But this cat mix-up has led to several thoughts:

1.) Somebody will never find out what happened to their buried cat.

2.) But at least it got a proper burial.

3.) What if the real Silas killed the other look-a-like cat in some sort of
scheme to get life insurance money?

4.) What if Silas the cat really is dead and some other, opportunistic cat is now stepping into his shoes?

5.) Was that Tom & Jerry bit about cats having nine lives real?

While you ponder these important questions, here's a highly relevant video. Meanwhile, I’m going to go check on Lucy.

--Pat P.

Groooovy! "Evil Dead 2" at the Fremont

As far as cult classics go, "Evil Dead 2" was a watershed.

Following 1981's "The Evil Dead," Sam Raimi's gruesome and frequently hilarious flick made mammoth-chinned Bruce Campbell a B-movie icon.

It wedded shotgun and chainsaw as the deadliest pair to ever hit the big screen.

It gave hope to poverty-stricken film students everywhere with lint in their pockets and gore on their minds.

Most importantly, Raimi's mixture of Stooges-style stunts, oddball dialogue and gross, low-budget special effects cemented the comedy-horror genre.

Without Raimi and George Romero, there'd be no "Shaun of the Dead." And that, dear readers, would be a sad, sad day for humanity.

Lucky for us, "Evil Dead 2" is playing tonight at The Fremont theater, 1025 Monterey St. in San Luis Obispo.

The screening starts at 7:30 p.m., following a half-hour trivia contest with prizes.
Tickets are $7.50.

If you don't make the screening, rent this one. You'll remember how great it really is.

For moviegoers who like their entertainment zombie-free, however, the Fremont will screen Leonard Bernstein's classic musical, "West Side Story," on Jan. 15.

-- Sarah L.

("Evil Dead 2" image courtesy of MovieWeb.com.)

Heavy hitting 90s (100 "greatest" songs)

Considering I complained last week about VH1’s “100 Greatest Songs of the 80s” (Def Leppard – ugh!), I feel I probably ought to complain at least a bit about the “100 Greatest songs of the 90s,” which I watched in its entirety this past weekend. (What can I say – it rained a lot.)

I actually liked many of the songs on the list (“I like big butts and I cannot lie!”), though I’m surprised by the number of one-hit wonders (“Do the humpty dumpty!”), which I think reflects a downward spiral in the music industry.

Still . . . Backstreet Boys at #3? I couldn’t help but groan. One sure way to discredit your best-of music list is to include a boy band in the top ten. Or anywhere, for that matter.

From the get-go there was no doubt that Nirvana would be #1. I mean, they were the 90s, right? And, of course, you knew you’d see Lisa Loeb’s cute little glasses, Kris Kross and their backward pants and, of course: da-duh-duh-duh, dah-duh, dah-duh – can’t touch this. But the biggest surprise to me was how old and overweight some of these people now look, which of course leads to one very important social question:

Have I also gotten old and fat? Considering many of these people are my age, it makes me fear for my fleeting youth and burgeoning waist line.

The ones who looked noticeably older include the girls from En Vogue, Sinead O’Connor, Paula Cole and Edwin McCain. The fact that so many of them were heavy confirms my belief that our metabolism just falls apart once we hit 30. In fact, the only person who was actually thinner, I think, was Blues Traveler front man John Popper, and that’s because he had to have surgery to lose weight or he was going to die.

Anyway, you can see the list here. While you’re checking that out, I’m gonna get older and gain some more weight.


--Pat P.

This election could get hairy (hopefully)

As the primaries kick into gear, there’s much debate over who’s best suited to lead our country.

Some people say it’s time for a woman president. Others say it’s time for an African-American president.

Me? I say it’s high time we had a president with facial hair.

You bald-faced naysayers can scoff at me all you want -- in fact, you can even rub your smooth, baby-butt chins while doing it. But I'm not backing down on this one.

Before you label me a hair-brained quack, consider this: The United States has not had a mustached Commander-in-Chief since William Howard Taft in 1912.

Howard Taft, people!

Sad thing is, it's not just us. In fact, the entire world seems to have a bias against leaders with facial hair.

Making matters worse, the prospects of having a hairy-faced president in the next election don't look the least bit promising – unless David Letterman decides to drop his hat in the ring.

What's wrong with our political system?

Ok, I'll admit, I'm sort've biased on this matter. When I was a kid, I used to make these fake mustaches that I'd wear around the neighborhood, saying something really silly, like: "Hey, look, I have a mustache!" Except that I couldn't really fool anybody since I was, like, eight years old and walking around with a mustache.

Not too many eight-year-olds have mustaches, you know. I mean, you have those wolf boys that live in Mexico, but they don't really count, if you ask me.

When I was a seventh grader, there was this kid – I’ll call him Mel since that was his name -- who had a mustache and a beard, and he was sort of my hero for a while, right up there with Reggie Jackson and the San Diego Chicken.

Now that I'm a mustached, quasi-bearded adult like Mel, I feel that every man ought to have facial hair at some point in his life. In fact, in some cases, I think it's highly advisable. I mean, seriously, now that Paul McCartney’s face is getting a little saggy, I see no reason why he shouldn’t go back to his White Album days.

But the great thing about facial hair, I think, is the versatility. A guy with facial hair has so many options, after all.

Despite all that hair can offer, our leaders continue their quest to keep our national government hair-free. Only five presidents have sported beards – despite the great example set by Abe Lincoln.

Al Gore – who won the popular vote by a hair in 2000 – gave us hope
for a short time. But now we’re faced with a pool of stubble-free candidates, and I just don’t like it.

If you ask me, I say we need a pro-growth candidate, a leader who doesn’t shy away from hairy situations.

So please support me in my new write-in campaign.

Vote Mel in 2008.


--Pat P.

On Def Ears -- 80's song list debate

I can remember getting in some heated debates about Def Leppard when I was younger, the crux of my argument being that Def Leppard sucked.

Needless to say, I really, really REALLY hated Def Leppard. (That's them in the, uh, interesting shorts above.) Still do, in fact.

So you can imagine how upset I was to see that their song “Pour Some Sugar On Me” — which, I might add, also sucks — was rated the No. 2 song on the VH1 show “100 Greatest Songs of the 80s.”

Not to besmirch the good programming of VH1. Frankly, I love their list shows. But I had to voice disgust with this list, supposedly voted on by viewers (though it seems there’d be many more repeat entries from huge acts, like U2 and Michael Jackson, if that were the case.)

Overall, the list was pretty decent, with a good smattering of Cyndi Lauper, Duran Duran, the Police, Prince and the likes. But there were a few other selections – Ratt, ABC and Motley Crue — that made me want to gag myself with a spoon.

I was also surprised by how many of the featured acts had recently performed in the area. To name a few: Tone-Loc, Joan Jett, Go-Gos, Aerosmith, and Lionel Richie. (REO Speedwagon, who hit No. 67 with “Keep On Loving You,” was just announced for a Jan. 31 show at Chumash Casino.)

Anyway, the top ten songs were:
1. Bon Jovi / "Livin' on a Prayer"
2. Def Leppard / "Pour Some Sugar On Me"
3. Duran Duran / "Hungry Like the Wolf"
4. Michael Jackson / "Billie Jean"
5. Prince / "When Doves Cry"
6. Hall & Oates / "I Can't Go For That (No Can Do)"
7. Guns N' Roses / "Sweet Child O' Mine"
8. Madonna / "Like a Virgin"
9. Run-D.M.C. / "Walk This Way"
10. AC/DC / "You Shook Me All Night Long"

To see the entire list, look here.

To see how really awful Def Leppard is – and I really encourage you not to – check out this video.


- Pat P.